Monday 21 May 2007

Travel.. Just Say NO!

My exams have ended and all that's left is to demonstrate my final year project.. I'm working hard at the moment on a speech explaining how Indie a project that doesn't work is. I also haven't been able to post in a while due to the lack of my Spelling and Grammar Corrector... so here we go.

I, as many good Indie folk do own a lovely little bike called Mabel. She came to exist due to my frustration towards Dublin's public transport. Today, considering the oddly hot day that's in it ("big up" to the Americans with the 4x4 for that by the way) I decided to take a recently repaired Mabel out for a cycle to check out some fine indie hangouts. This poses some problems as I discovered during Mabel's "pre-repaired" state: flares and bikes don't get on very well.. In fact, they'll get you killed. While I won't get into the details I will simply say that there was a conspiracy between my flares and pedals that landed me into a street lamp.

I began thinking up helpful hits for indie folk in transit. But as I'm sure people out there already know, compromising your indie integrity for safety generally ends up with you looking like you'd blend in at the front of a Take That concert and to be honest you may as well be dead. SO instead I've got helpful hints in how to survive being indie while getting from point A to point B
while i understand some people don't have to put up with dublin bus and so can get public transport without fear. so there are some tips for the bus... this DOES come with a disclaimer mind you. "be warned if this goes wrong, it will go badly wrong"

BUS:
while on a bus it is important to stand or sit alone, looking pensive out a window (or at your reflection) sounds easy enough but even this simple task has pitfalls
!people sitting beside you!
As we all know having the latest "now thats what i call music" bleeding into your ears from the music zombie beside you is one of the biggest risks when it comes to bus travel. but there is a cunning way to avoid this hellish horror;
while sitting and being as indie as you can, give a watch out for people getting on the bus and eyeing up the seat beside you, when you see one, grab eye contact and give one of those "remember me" smile and nods, followed by a sharp look-away. The kind you would give a guy you met from school but never talked to because they bought Snow Patrols Final Straw album before listening to the first two.
well this will, 99% of the time, result in the person franticly trying to place you, wondering where you had met, what your name is and why you let something so silly spoil your friendship, he will then move onto a different seat to avoid a teeth-pulling conversation.
BUT! there IS that 1% that will sit down and talk about their favourite football team for the rest of the journey: be warned.

BIKE
being indie and on a bike is hard. in fact it's dangerous so your going to need some "tools" to ensure a safe, yet incredibly indie trip. A wire hanger and a pair of pliers can make amazing things, it also solved my Flares-in-gears problem. Simply take the heads off two clotheshangers; bend them into the shape of an outstretched flare; attach with some handy button badges and you've got yourself where you're going while doing it with flares proudly outstretched.i'm going to put up some pictures of the "Wire flare guard.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Have to say that the clothes hanger thing is a fantastic idea and until now that very problem has prevented me from pedaling my way to the glory streets of Birr. Although I still have one problem for you regarding this fine method of transport, in a world where we know the bus is going to take us 4 hours to do a 15 minute journey we can catch up on a lot of Indie homework, whereas it's not so safe to be trawling through your cd collection (or if you're one of those people that uses your mp3 player to play wavs cos lets face it I'll never talk to you if you degrade the music of your idol)on your trusty bike. Although I'd still probably take the chance.
Keep up the good work of enlightenment.